I do u understand me too I had to let my son go not because I did not love him I had to so he got to raise him and his family after 21 years he came back into my life the sad part is I could not really tell him what happened he said he already knew but he didn't because they had told him a bunch of Lies just got to do a lot of praying and hoping we started having a relationship again as mother and son but the problem is again more lies set in and he believed them the only thing I can tell you is that your his mother and only one person can be his real mother no one else can be so just hold in your heart that one day he will come to you I just hope and pray that he listens to your side of the story I never got a chance to tell my son my side I'm 56 now and he's 34 but I hope I'll be able to have that chance before I die and leave this earth that he will give me the time to tell him or something will happen where he will see the side that he should have known a long time ago just remember you can't change people and what they do just for their own satisfaction you just build yourself up and you'd be the person that you are and you need to be and in the end I'm sure things will work out fine