Hello, Noel. I am one of the authors of the Coping With Depression Blog. I am sorry that you are feeling guilty. I want you to know that you are absolutely not a loser. I myself attempted suicide at the beginning of last year, so I completely understand the pain and mental anguish that a person feels upon reaching that point. Your focus now needs to be on the present and the future. You are still here. You do have a purpose. You mention your marriage and your children. Those are starting points. Since you've retired, look for volunteer opportunities and also take time to discover what your interests are. There are so many possibilities. I encourage you to speak with a professional about your feelings of guilt. While therapy doesn't work for everyone, it has certainly helped me to find ways to cope with my depression and has also given me tools to effectively win the battle over my negative thoughts. I'm glad you reached out here, and I want you to know that it can get better, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.