Hello, Nancy. Thank you for taking the time to reach out here. I am so sorry that you are going through these painful things with your ex-husband and family. Ask your health care provider if there are any local support groups that you could join. There you can find others who will encourage you while you do the same for them. I notice you said that you do want to live. I am happy to read that. There are many things to live for, one of which is your dog that you mentioned. Also, there are people who care about you. I am one of them. Please speak to your doctor about the thoughts you are having and ask him/her for information on support groups. Hold on. You are worth it.