I am a middle-aged man turning 50 this year and I found I have no will to live my life anymore. I just migrated to a new country 3 years ago, thought it would be a new beginning for me after getting myself burnt-out by 17 years of work in stressful consulting world. The last three years before the move was a final blow as I also lost my father due to his recurring kidney failure. I found life was so fragile and meaningless, it is too much to bear, so much hurt, so much pain and so little hope. After my relocation to a new country, I find out tings were not turning out as good as I imagined. Even they are worst, for one I could not find a job, I dis not enjoy the life in the new country and was left in cold loneliness everyday at home whilst my wife working and my two kids study at school. I found it difficult to accept this reality. I know I should be strong, grateful and accept the reality and move on. I try to seek God for peace, hope and guidance but I could not find what I am looking for. I am depressed and torn between the two worlds of returning back to the life I used to hate or adjusting to a new life I find meaningless to cope. I have been taking anti-depressants for 3 years but they are not helping. I am sorry for all my whinings and complaints. I think I need to stop, life is just too much for me and my depression has taken the will to live from me ...