Oh, Vi, I feel what you're saying. The best thing is that while you can't change the past, you can learn from it. Every experience is a learning opportunity, and I find it personally healing to forgive myself for making a decision that I might regret because I did the best I could at that time with the knowledge and experience I had. You will never go into a deal again without remembering this past one that didn't go well, and therefore you will be in a better and stronger place. Celebrate your growth!