Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry this happened to you. That must have been very scary, you may have even felt embarrassed or ashamed, and I hear how it not only confused you then, but it also confuses you now still. Maybe I'm projecting, but it sounds like you want to make sense of it. Is it so you can understand it and maybe process it to be able to let it go? If so, 2 things - some people cannot handle alcohol. It's a depressant so social inhibitions are relaxed. Any anger he was bottling up about other things might've flown out at you simply bc you happened to be the only person in the room when his angry, pent up feelings found their way out to attack. You didn't cause him to feel those things, they just got transferred to you bc angry rage feelings aren't logical. They occur in the amygdala which is in charge of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn emergency reactions only. You're wanting them to be logical and make sense as if they were a thoughtful response instead of hair trigger reaction. That logic only happens in someone's prefrontal cortex. You weren't dealing with someone operating out of their prefrontal cortex. So, it's never going to make logical sense on why he did or does that, ever. I can tell you it wasn't anything to do with you. I'm so thankful hearing you were brave and were able to physically leave. Don't bother calling to ask if he's aware of his issues. That takes logic. He isn't operating with logic, so calling it out will prob make it worse to the both of you. He can deal with his own self when he wants. I hope you can show yourself as much care for how you're coping with an awful, abusive event. I hope you can see and focus on how you are still affected by it and aren't processing it in a healthy way, and I hope you seek a therapist so you can move from it without taking meaning about who you are or any of it on yourself.